Teaching the Core Value of Empathy to your Preschooler…
Grace Geller on July 1st, 2010
Every day I open the newspaper and read the leading news stories as well as the editorials. I turn on the television news and I see the networks version of what is important. It is a very complicated world out there and I ponder; how can we prepare children to be safe while at the same time care about their neighbors?
Before our children can understand and care about others, they must trust that their needs are being consistently met. Children are self centered and need driven. If you have any doubts; just watch or speak to a toddler at play. I guarantee you will hear the word “mine” more than once during their play. The more consistently we meet their needs (emotional, physical and spiritual) the less energy they will direct towards getting their needs met. The result: More energy that can be directed elsewhere.
Consider the difference between meeting your child’s needs and meeting your child’s wants. If you meet their needs you can’t do any harm, if you meet your child’s wants…that’s where you can get into trouble. It is important for children to know who they are, is not defined by what they have. No matter how many things you buy your child, or how much you entertain your child, it will never be enough. They will always want more. Wants are insatiable. The more they get, the more they want, the more they want, the more they get. The circle goes round and round never to satisfy for long.
So where does lasting satisfaction come from? Lasting satisfaction comes from caring for others. Most of us feel better about ourselves when we reach out and helped another through an act kindness, charity work, neighborly interactions, and volunteering. How do we begin to teach our children to care for the community in which they live?
We have to be good role models. When we express empathy toward others, children will first feel and then see what it looks like. What are your acts of kindness? Have you talked them through? Talk about how to treat other people then model the way you would like them to treat others. The same sensitive little children that know when we are harried, short tempered, or sugary sweet also sense when we are genuinely kind in the check-out line or at the gas station. They begin to watch and then mirror our acts of kindness and respect for the other people we interact with.
Every year many of us make donations to various causes that we believe in. Take the time to explain your child what you are doing and why. Teach children to understand that contributing (in which ever manner you choose) directly relates to their well being and humanity’s well being. By including them in the process they will begin to learn and incorporate this value as one of your core family’s values and ultimately go one step further in the world.
Include your child in finding ways to help others. Acting on empathy is different than just feeling for others. Empathy is a muscle, you need to flex it!
Support your child’s efforts to make things better. If they are worried about the sea turtles maybe they could help raise funds for their protection or volunteer at a rehab center. The opportunities for caring are endless. Start small but think big. Once they see that they can make a difference their empathy muscle will grow and become strong. A child with a strong empathy muscle can move mountains!
Peace & Light,
Grace
