Posts Tagged ‘family values’
Grace Geller on July 8th, 2010
My husband and I sat under the shade of our beach umbrella enjoying the quiet sounds of the surf. The man adjacent to us was quietly moving through his asana and meditation. As the world began to wake up, families claimed their areas of the beach. Slightly in front of us a young family put down their blanket and arranged their gear. The mother and her new infant daughter cooed contently to each other.
The dad organized the blanket and then tended to their son. He gently, yet thoroughly, applied sunscreen; adjusted his young son’s sunglasses and then stood back. The young fellow (around three years old) sprinted toward the shoreline. The father continued setting out needed items, while keeping a close eye on his son.
An older lady walking along the shore became concerned about the young boy seemingly by himself. She began to approach the boy, and the father signaled that he was being watched. The older lady waved and walked away. The dad continued to watch the boy as he cautiously approached the water. The young lad was not a daredevil. After allowing his son a little more freedom, the father went to the shore and encouraged his son into the surf. The father placed himself about three feet off shore and turned to watch his son as the boy raced the waves back and forth to the shore.
This man understood the importance of giving his son the appropriate freedom to test out his abilities, while under the watchful eye of someone who loved him. Notice, I said appropriate. He did not sit on the blanket and ignore his son; he watched the entire time and only interceded when he became alert to a possible danger or in the event his child needed more help. In this case the boy was not moving ahead with his play. He was stuck in his own fears. In order to move to the next level of play he needed his father closer. Sensing this his father approached the water allowing the boy to fully engage in his water play.
The father went back to the blanket to check on his wife and their infant. He sat down and suggested she go play with their son in the surf, which she happily agreed to. The newborn had drifted off to sleep and her father took out his video camera and filmed her as she slept.
As the sun grew higher in the sky the infant began to fuss. The mother tried to comfort her, but when it became obvious the baby was uncomfortable they gathered their things and left the beach.
Often I find myself telling you there are no perfect families or marriages but I want to remind you there are idyllic family moments. Those times when we are guided by our love for each other, when we put way our own selfish wants and needs to care and nurture each other. On that day, at that point of time that family got it! Together, they were the perfect balance of nurture and strength.
I don’t know who these people are but I predict a beautiful future for all of them.
Peace and Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, family values, Fathers
Grace Geller on July 1st, 2010
Every day I open the newspaper and read the leading news stories as well as the editorials. I turn on the television news and I see the networks version of what is important. It is a very complicated world out there and I ponder; how can we prepare children to be safe while at the same time care about their neighbors?
Before our children can understand and care about others, they must trust that their needs are being consistently met. Children are self centered and need driven. If you have any doubts; just watch or speak to a toddler at play. I guarantee you will hear the word “mine” more than once during their play. The more consistently we meet their needs (emotional, physical and spiritual) the less energy they will direct towards getting their needs met. The result: More energy that can be directed elsewhere.
Consider the difference between meeting your child’s needs and meeting your child’s wants. If you meet their needs you can’t do any harm, if you meet your child’s wants…that’s where you can get into trouble. It is important for children to know who they are, is not defined by what they have. No matter how many things you buy your child, or how much you entertain your child, it will never be enough. They will always want more. Wants are insatiable. The more they get, the more they want, the more they want, the more they get. The circle goes round and round never to satisfy for long.
So where does lasting satisfaction come from? Lasting satisfaction comes from caring for others. Most of us feel better about ourselves when we reach out and helped another through an act kindness, charity work, neighborly interactions, and volunteering. How do we begin to teach our children to care for the community in which they live?
We have to be good role models. When we express empathy toward others, children will first feel and then see what it looks like. What are your acts of kindness? Have you talked them through? Talk about how to treat other people then model the way you would like them to treat others. The same sensitive little children that know when we are harried, short tempered, or sugary sweet also sense when we are genuinely kind in the check-out line or at the gas station. They begin to watch and then mirror our acts of kindness and respect for the other people we interact with.
Every year many of us make donations to various causes that we believe in. Take the time to explain your child what you are doing and why. Teach children to understand that contributing (in which ever manner you choose) directly relates to their well being and humanity’s well being. By including them in the process they will begin to learn and incorporate this value as one of your core family’s values and ultimately go one step further in the world.
Include your child in finding ways to help others. Acting on empathy is different than just feeling for others. Empathy is a muscle, you need to flex it!
Support your child’s efforts to make things better. If they are worried about the sea turtles maybe they could help raise funds for their protection or volunteer at a rehab center. The opportunities for caring are endless. Start small but think big. Once they see that they can make a difference their empathy muscle will grow and become strong. A child with a strong empathy muscle can move mountains!
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: core values, family values, preschooler
Grace Geller on November 26th, 2008
Well here it is; Thanksgiving weekend and the official start of the holiday season. As many of us gather with our families and friends over the next month, we will be given many opportunities to express our love physically and financially. However, when all is said and done, it is the times we share together which will warm our hearts!
Thanksgiving is a holiday set aside for us to remember the gifts we have received. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude not only improves your outlook but can actually improve your health. So in the spirit of the season, I am going to do the healthy thing and practice gratitude:
I am thankful for the children I spend my days and weeks with; they keep me young.
I am thankful for the smiles, laughs and constant questions that fill our hours together; they humble me and remind me I have a lot to learn.
I am thankful for the fulfilling feeling I receive each time a child accomplishes a skill or task that has eluded them before; it challenges me to do more.
I am thankful for the parents who have teamed with us to make our school the best; it fills me with a sense of pride.
I am thankful for the parents who show up at: conferences, parties, parades, parent meetings and fundraisers; they help instill a sense of importance.
I am thankful for our faculty who tirelessly strive for new ways to address each individual learning style; they keep education a priority.
I am thankful for our faculty who come joyfully to work despite their own lives many complications; they provide us with consistency.
I am thankful for the school’s owners because they have never asked me to compromise quality for profit; it helps me sleep easy at night.
I am thankful for my family; for they are the rock that supports me when I need to rest.
I am thankful for the opportunity to live free; it gives me a reason to be educated.
Peace and Light,
Miss Grace
Technorati Tags: family values, Giving thanks, gratitude
Grace Geller on November 21st, 2008
I don’t know about you, but I found it really difficult to gather my family together for family dinner every night. With the complex schedules of working parents and active children, most meals were taken on the run.
There is good reason to rethink our busy schedules in reference to the family dinner. Latest research shows that families that sit down to family dinner at least five times per week had half the odds of substance abuse. In addition the statistics were particularly relevant to teenage girls. Girls who regularly ate meals with their families showed declines in risky behavior even if they did not have a good relationship with their family!
So what is it about family dinner that has such a positive effect on the future of our children? Is it the home cooked meal, can it be take out, do you need to be at home? Well I guess the best way to work through these questions is to present each case on its own merit.
Let’s look at the first question. Is family dinner defined as a home cooked meal? The process of preparing a home cooked meal lends itself to idyllic interpretations. The aroma’s of the ingredients mingling together in a warm kitchen, – how “Norman Rockwell”. Of course those of us who have actually made home cooked meals know that it is actually a bit more chaotic then the image it incurs.
Ok so let’s try the image another way. Someone purchases the meal on the way home, while other family members prepare the settings. This image is probably a bit more familiar to most families.
Now let’s try the scenario in a restaurant. Someone else prepares, serves, and cleans up the meal. That’s even easier!
Frankly all three versions are missing something. Not once did I mention the missing ingredient. I hope you have been supplying it. While you played these scenarios over in your head did you add your family sitting down together and discussing the day’s events? What worked? What didn’t work?
The family together is the missing and key ingredient. Teaching our children basic manners and conversational skills tends to take place at the dinner table. These skills serve them well as they begin their journey into proper society. As our children mature it becomes even more essential to touch base with them daily, look into their eyes and really see what is happening in their world.
So as you negotiate your busy lives, remember to schedule in some family dinner time. Perhaps it is more important to their future to spend quality time together then that extra sport.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family dinner, family life, family values
Grace Geller on October 29th, 2008
We live in an instant world filled with instant rewards. When we have a question, we go to the internet. No more waiting until the library opens so we can look up information or use a set of encyclopedias. Food is fast. No more home cooked meals. We make phone calls at our first impulse and we rarely wait on line. No more waiting till we get home to call a friend about an unusual event. Frankly, I can’t remember a time that I didn’t think that ordering anything or everything on line was not a viable alternative to going into a store. Instant gratification is the name of the game.
Has the ability to command items at our will affected our ability to postpone gratification? Have we lost our ability to wait or deny ourselves and our children anything our hearts desire? Could the current economic status of our country be a symptom of the “Instant Generation”?
No matter who wins the election on Tuesday, we will demand an instant fix to the economic state we’re in. It took years of bad habits to bring the world’s economy to its knees. It isn’t likely that it will be repaired quickly. Perhaps as we begin to make our own necessary changes, we can help teach our children not to make the same mistakes.
Besides teaching our children self control, we must teach them to delay gratification. Even if we can afford to fulfill all of their desires, is it in their best interest to do so? The advertisers would will us to do so, indicating that we are not good providers, if we do not give our children the latest “hot product”. Our children play with the item for a few weeks and then they are on to the next “hot item”. Each time we fulfill their wish, their enjoyment with the item lasts for shorter and shorter periods, thus shortening their attention span. One of the most important indicators of a child’s academic success is the ability to tend to the task at hand until it is completed. Sometimes this can be a significant amount of time.
So how do we help our children learn to delay gratification? First we must start at the beginning. It is OK to want things, but they must also learn that they may not get it, or they will have to wait until they have earned the item. It is important to teach our children that they may have to wait until their family can afford it (put away the credit cards). Discussing basic family economics is important. (use your discretion!) Learning how to balance our desires with basic economics is essential to a successful life!
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: Delayed Gratification, family economics, family values, school success, young children
Grace Geller on October 23rd, 2008
It finally happened; I was able to open my windows at night. That’s right… fall has finally come to the subtropics. Classroom bulletin boards are transforming into idyllic “fall scenes” and transplanted northerners wistfully remember “fall” from our childhood. We remember how Pumpkin Patches held hay rides, apple picking events and stories told by a “scarecrow”. The air was filled with the scents of apple cider, cinnamon and pumpkin pies fresh from the oven.
I remember running home from school to quickly get ready for my favorite holiday “Halloween”. The one day of the year I could wear make up. Needless to say my costumes always revolved around being a princess.
After a quick snack, I would dash across the street to my Aunt Grace where she would apply a layer of foundation and blush. The whole picture wasn’t complete until she added Mabeline blue stick eye shadow and Avon red lipstick. You see, back then there was “brand loyalty”. (Of course that was a lot easier when there weren’t so many options.)
Next step was to go home and find a dress suitable for a princess, put it on and then layer my “pea coat” over it. Didn’t really matter what costume you wore because it was too cold to go out without a coat. The neighborhood would meet at my house where parents would assemble to take their photos, recording another year’s passage.
Of course we were reminded to: stay together, mind our manners and only ring the bell twice. If they did not answer we were to leave quietly. That’s right; we went house to house without adult supervision, but believe me, if we were rude our moms would hear about it!
Shortly after nightfall we were to return home for the “candy check” and a pizza dinner. Night hours were reserved for the local teenagers.
It was much easier to love the holidays then, because they were special. Even if your family had money, life was pretty much the same for everyone.
The pundits are telling us this is going to be a tough year. They say that there will be less abundance to go around. Perhaps that’s a good thing. Maybe holidays can be special again, and our children will be reminded that abundance is a feeling in your heart and not an accumulation of things.
Have a wonderful fall,
Peace and Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: abundance, family values, Halloween, young families
Grace Geller on October 17th, 2008
Last Night we gathered together to celebrate the official opening of the “Children’s Music Garden.” This garden was the result of a small group of people working together to create something from nothing. A little over a year ago I found myself with an intense need to create something beautiful. While reading an article on playground supervision, I spied the answer. In a school designed for children who had autism, a music therapist named Petra Kern built a “Music Garden”. The positive results from her study on the effect of music on challenged children, was amazing. From her study I deduced that the interaction of children with the large scaled instruments, could also translate into positive results for children without such extensive challenges.
So began our adventure to: design, fund and build the only garden of its kind in a private school. Early on the families supported this adventure, some with fundraising, some with advice, and still others with time, materials and labor. What evolved was a synergy of the concrete and the abstract.
Each day I find children experimenting with sound vibrations in the “Music Garden”. On one occasion we all laughed our selves silly, when the vibrations from the large Whale Drum traveled through the deck and tickled our feet! Not only were we experimenting with sound but we now had, a built in science lesson about sound vibrations and how they travel.
Though we speculated about the physical design there was no way to know what the intrinsic value of the garden would be. Life is sometimes like that. You start a journey without really knowing where it will lead and instead of an ending you find a beginning.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family values, music garden, young families
Grace Geller on October 10th, 2008
It happened again. I just don’t know why I do it. Every time the book fair comes to school, I buy books! So what’s the big deal you might ask? Well I’ll tell you. I haven’t had a preschooler in my home in over two decades. So why do I do it?
Every fair I tell myself, not this time and yet every year I buy books. If I could just walk by and not read the titles, I’d be fine. Then I wouldn’t succumb; but alas, the pictures drag me in and eventually I am lost in the wonderful alliteration that dances on the tip of my tongue.
Every fair, there is just one book that captures my soul and off I go into a classroom to share my latest finding with the children. There, huddled in a corner, you will find us lost in the silly world of a preschooler book.
If truth be told it is not just the books that attract me, it is the world they represent. It is the neat, orderly clear world of a preschooler. I know what your thinking; using the words “neat, orderly, clear” and “preschooler” all in one sentence? Preschoolers tend not to be neat, orderly or clear, but their world inside is.
In a preschooler’s world when you make a mistake, you fess up and correct it. Friends make mistakes and they are forgiven. Terrible messes are made, and then they are cleaned up. Lies are told, and they are found out. Most of all, everyone, everyone, is given a chance to redeem themselves if they want to. Here is where the beauty of a preschooler’s world lies. It is in the redemption. If you want to be forgiven you must admit your wrong doing and then correct it. You should never ever hurt another person; and then and only then, can you play with your friends.
With that said, is it any wonder that I still buy preschool books? Don’t you wish congress did, too?
I’ll be busy this weekend reading my new books.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family values, preschool books, society today
Grace Geller on October 2nd, 2008
Every Wednesday and Saturday, I would strap my two children into our worn old Cutlass and head towards the beach. Paul was five and Jesse only two. I relished these trips to his violin lessons. There, they would be my captives, at my mercy. These drives would allow us uninterrupted time, where I would have their undivided attention, as we spoke about the world and how it could be. Well, truthfully I talked and they listened, commenting on what they knew (OK, Jesse just chuckled at us).
As we passed the men laying road tar in the heat of a South Florida day, we were reminded about how hard life could be if they didn’t get a good education. We talked about the right of all beings to earn enough money to feed and care for their families. We talked about the dignity of honest work, and all people, no matter who they were or what they did. We talked about good people who make terrible mistakes, and it is what you do when bad things happen to you, that matters.
I spent hours talking to them about my dreams for them and their world. Do I know whether or not it would prove to matter in their lives, in truth I do not.
I can tell you this… it mattered to me. It mattered to me that they knew what I believed to be important. They were my children; they needed to know who I was and what I dreamed of.
Isn’t it just as important to express our dreams to our children, as it is to teach them to succeed in the “real world”? Isn’t it just as important to teach them why it is important to get it right? Isn’t it just as important to define what it is we think is important, so we can teach it to our children? Isn’t it time to remember what we believed the world would be like when we were little? Change begins with us. We hold in our hands the intelligence, compassion and zeal to embrace the future. Shouldn’t we help our children dream about what their futures could be?
It is not enough to make sure our children know the difference between right and wrong. It is not enough to give them good skills. It is not enough to simply prepare them for the world. We must teach them to dream about the future.
So the next time your children are captive in your car, turn off the music, DVD player and your cell phone and tell them what you dream for their future and their world. You will never be sorry that you told your children. You will only be sorry if you don’t.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: children, family life, family values, philosophy, vision
