Posts Tagged ‘family life’
Grace Geller on July 8th, 2010
My husband and I sat under the shade of our beach umbrella enjoying the quiet sounds of the surf. The man adjacent to us was quietly moving through his asana and meditation. As the world began to wake up, families claimed their areas of the beach. Slightly in front of us a young family put down their blanket and arranged their gear. The mother and her new infant daughter cooed contently to each other.
The dad organized the blanket and then tended to their son. He gently, yet thoroughly, applied sunscreen; adjusted his young son’s sunglasses and then stood back. The young fellow (around three years old) sprinted toward the shoreline. The father continued setting out needed items, while keeping a close eye on his son.
An older lady walking along the shore became concerned about the young boy seemingly by himself. She began to approach the boy, and the father signaled that he was being watched. The older lady waved and walked away. The dad continued to watch the boy as he cautiously approached the water. The young lad was not a daredevil. After allowing his son a little more freedom, the father went to the shore and encouraged his son into the surf. The father placed himself about three feet off shore and turned to watch his son as the boy raced the waves back and forth to the shore.
This man understood the importance of giving his son the appropriate freedom to test out his abilities, while under the watchful eye of someone who loved him. Notice, I said appropriate. He did not sit on the blanket and ignore his son; he watched the entire time and only interceded when he became alert to a possible danger or in the event his child needed more help. In this case the boy was not moving ahead with his play. He was stuck in his own fears. In order to move to the next level of play he needed his father closer. Sensing this his father approached the water allowing the boy to fully engage in his water play.
The father went back to the blanket to check on his wife and their infant. He sat down and suggested she go play with their son in the surf, which she happily agreed to. The newborn had drifted off to sleep and her father took out his video camera and filmed her as she slept.
As the sun grew higher in the sky the infant began to fuss. The mother tried to comfort her, but when it became obvious the baby was uncomfortable they gathered their things and left the beach.
Often I find myself telling you there are no perfect families or marriages but I want to remind you there are idyllic family moments. Those times when we are guided by our love for each other, when we put way our own selfish wants and needs to care and nurture each other. On that day, at that point of time that family got it! Together, they were the perfect balance of nurture and strength.
I don’t know who these people are but I predict a beautiful future for all of them.
Peace and Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, family values, Fathers
Grace Geller on June 17th, 2010
Summer is upon us! With a little extra time and an uncluttered calendar, imagine the possibilities…. Summertime is the perfect time to start something new; but what? How do you stop yourself, or your child, from falling into the doldrums and doing the same old thing?
As parents and teachers, we want our children to be “creative.” But what is creativity? And how do we encourage it in ourselves and others? Before we discuss creativity and enhancing creativity, let’s back up and examine a few creativity inhibitors.
In our never-ending effort to help create the well balanced child, we sometimes interfere with that balance. Some of our inhibiting behaviors include:
Hovering: Constantly watching children while they are working interferes with risk taking behavior. (We are not talking about safety issues.) We are talking about using a medium in a different way or combining items that are not usually combined.
Approval Seeking Behavior: Sometimes our children will do, or make something, in an effort to please us. They do not make it or do it to please themselves. When we seek approval from others we ignore the satisfaction that comes with our own accomplishments. Allow your child to check his/her motives. Let them tell you why they created what they did….
Rewards: Excessively rewarding children with prizes and gifts deprives them of the pleasure of creating something for its own value. The goal then becomes receiving the prize rather then creating something new. Create for the sake of creating.
Competition: Sometimes when we place children in the position that only one or two children can win, we create an environment that winning becomes the important result. Innovation can lose to the sure thing.
Controlling: Constantly telling children what to do and how to do it can inhibit a child’s ability to develop problem solving skills. Without problem solving skills it becomes increasingly difficult to think of and test new ideas.
Over Scheduling: Directing your child’s activities or enrichment classes is an important part of exposing children to the many options available to them, but over scheduling limits your child’s time and interests to the allotted time and information. Children need time to explore and follow their passions. Sometime after the 20th “I’m bored” comes discovery. It takes awhile for our over scheduled children to learn how to fill their own time with things that are important to them.
Pressure: Last but not least, pressure. We need to scale our expectations for our child’s performance. When our expectations are too high our children may refrain from trying something new or not taking any risks, for fear of failure. As parents and teachers we must remove our ego from the equation!
The beginning of this post referred to creativity in our children and ourselves. We too, are victims of inhibitory behaviors. More often than not, we place those inhibitors on ourselves. The more aware of the inhibitors that we are, the better we can deal with them.
So now that we have a handle on the inhibitors, what is next?
We need to get unstuck! First we must set a goal. One that is specific, attainable and realistic.
We are helping our children and ourselves learn to create! To relax, to go with a new flow, express ourselves, paint, make music, build things, try new foods, sing, look at the world upside down aaaaahhhh Create………
Next we must get up and move. That is right. We need to get the creative juices moving. So shake and shimmy until you work up a sweat.
Finally allow time – to dream, imagine the possibilities, visualize, hum, sniff, giggle. What would it be like if…
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: creativity, Early Childhood Education, Early Learning, family life
Grace Geller on June 9th, 2010
Well the dust has settled, camp is up and running and I finally have time to reflect on the wonderful year we spent together. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my days reassuring families that their two- year-old would: Stop crying or biting or hitting…and then all of a sudden those same two year olds are singing in five languages, able to read, tie their shoes and are graduating from Pre-K! What happened to the time in between?
All those days linking the beginning to the end was the middle work… all the hard work:
Early to bed
Arriving on time
Allowing your child to take responsibility for him / her selves
Doing the right thing
Successful endings are preceded by hard work. The hard work of the Two year old teachers helped prepare the children for the Three year old program; and the hard work of the Four year old teachers, prepared the children for Pre-K. The hard work of the parents prepared the children to grow and be ready to receive direction.
When I look at our competent Pre-Kindergarteners performing at graduation I see them with the knowledge that everyone plays a small part in the development of a child. It is the sum of all these small parts that leads to a competent, confident child. The more people who positively participate in the development of a child, the closer that child can come to reaching his / her full potential.
That is why I cringe when I hear the term “day care.” We do not take care of days! We care for children. We care about who they will become. We take pride in helping to shape the future. What we do here in the Early Childhood setting is very different from elementary school setting. Here we have the luxury of time to know the whole child and their families. We create a plan to help children eradicate undesirable behaviors, overcome deficits and gain competencies in life and academics.
Here we become part of a child’s family and they become part of ours. Children share stories, tokens from their family vacations and foods and customs from their home countries. We trade recipes and advice. Teachers relay funny anecdotes or concerns for the children in their charge. They share these with directors, teachers and their families. And tiny parts of your child’s life merge with ours and we begin to form a community.
During graduation, it is with great pride that I look out over the audience and see the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, best friends as well as the Two year old, Three year old, Four year old teachers and their families. Everyone is in attendance watching the children as they prepare for the transition from preschooler to grade school student. This is the message we tried to teach and hope will serve them well in the future.
A message to the children;
10 suggestions for a healthy future:
- Listen to your heart; it will help you know the truth when you hear it.
- Plant your dreams on solid ground.
- Start something new.
- Be bold, smart and fair.
- Do the right thing.
- Try something different.
- Hold on to who you are.
- Keep your body and mind healthy.
- Know what matters most.
- When you fall down, pick yourself up and move on.
And as the hall empties and the stage lights dim, I am a little sad to see them go but then I remember….tomorrow a new group of two year olds start. God, I love this job!
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, graduation, preschool, preschool teachers
Grace Geller on May 27th, 2010
Continuing with our series by our guest author Sharon Alm
Over the years of opening the world to your child, there will be so many things that you can do to connect the books you read, to your child’s reality:
I’ve mentioned the plastic magnetic letters for the refrigerator. One of the most important first words on the refrigerator should be your child’s name!
Using the letter M as my example, you can conveniently think of lots of words, beginning with that sound, as you go through your day. Emphasizing the letter sound, as you say and shape the words, connects them in your child’s brain.
Find that visible letter as you shop or ride in the car: Mommy, morning, and M at the local McDonald’s, of course. Use capital letters, including words that you create on the refrigerator.
Write your chosen letter for your child in soapsuds at bath time in the tub; make it from PlayDoh as he/she grows into that activity. Create a collage of a few pictures from magazines that show M things in your child’s world. Post it where your child will see it to point out M pictures during a diaper change, for instance. (Don’t let your child see you cutting up a magazine for this, however. Save that for later, when you can teach scissor-cutting and the chosen old magazine to help with the posters.) Remember those lessons on respect for printed materials.
If your book is about a farm, you can visit a local petting zoo, when your child is old enough to handle the experience. Repeat this type of activity by visiting: an annual fair, the beach etc. Each experience connects something new in that little brain.
Find incidental ways to remember things from books your child has read over the years. These don’t have to be “dog and pony show activities.” Just a quiet walk in the park can recall trees or fences or fountains seen in a story. Little things mean a lot when they are discovered in the average day.
As you read the same books over and over, you’ll remember certain parts to recall at the opportune time for silly moments, too! Dr. Seuss often creates those times with “I do not like them (or that), Sam I am.” This can be a silly reminder of a funny story, and can also correct some behavior that is unfavorable to you at the time.
I would also like to recommend two books for you to read. Both cover the subject of reading aloud to your child, but are written in delightfully different ways. Each book contains lists of suggested books for various ages. The books also make great gifts for new parents!
Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to Our Children Will Change Their Lives
Forever by Mem Fox
Mem Fox is also the author of several wonderful children’s books!
Read to Me: Raising Kids Who Love to Read by Bernice e. Cullinan
I hope you will delight in watching your child grow and blossom with the reading aloud of wonderful books. Making your child a book lover will be one of your greatest achievements as a parent. Reading aloud bonds parents and children in so many ways. Don’t assume that your independent reader won’t want read-aloud time with you. Chapter books provide wonderful opportunities for some great reading—only without as many pictures to explore. Your child will be older, and chapter books can provide age-appropriate life lessons, too.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: Early Childhood Education, Early Learning, Early Reading, family life
Grace Geller on May 20th, 2010
Continuing with our series by our guest author Sharon Alm
Your reading aloud continues as you watch your child grow by leaps and bounds! He/She is reacting to and responding to your familiar words during routines, your rhyming fun, and the naming of the items in each book’s pictures.
It’s time to share another step along our journey to reading. This concerns the realization of the strange looking “marks” on some of the pages in your books. These marks are the keys that open and share each book’s story. Your child needs to know that reading is talk, written on the page. Each book is telling you something to share with your child….not just words. This is the guiding step to reading comprehension. Understanding and remembering what the words tell us is the meaning of reading. It’s why we read.
It starts with naming the words and emphasizing the beginning sounds. As you do this, make sure that your child looks at your mouth, when you isolate a word for him/her to learn. Seeing your mouth change shape makes him/her aware of how words begin.
Hearing and watching you make the correct shape of each beginning sound teaches the correct way to say it. Lips together for the “mmmmmm” sounds when something tastes good, or lips together then apart for the “bye-bye” words visually teach the M and the B consonants. Imitations will soon follow, and you are on your way to teaching your child the letter sounds heard in our language.
Relating the sound and the written symbol for a word is a definition of Phonics. Phonics is one way to actually teach reading. But my belief is that relying on learning words by letter sounds alone will make your child a word-reader. He/She will miss the message of the story if focusing on individual letter sounds of each word. Most children learn to read by recognizing a whole word by sight, not individual sounds.
I also, strongly believe that every child must know the sound / symbol relationship. The real study of Phonics is best left to classroom teachers. Our written language is very complicated, with many pronunciations, blends, digraphs, base words and endings, etc. Teachers are trained to present our confusing written language in an orderly manner.
Your child should know the alphabet letters and sounds by kindergarten time. It’s an important part of teaching reading. To help you as you begin to tackle this part of reading, have one or two sets of magnetic alphabet letters for the refrigerator. Perhaps Grandma has a set or two left from your younger days! They are wonderful! Keep them in a container (aside) so that you can isolate the one or two letters that are used most often, at the beginning, for a teaching time period until the imitating begins and the connection is made.
Begin your consonant challenge with “Buh,” “Fuh,” “Muh”, “Puh”, “Vuh,” and “Wuh.” These have the most obvious mouth movements youngsters can handle. The other letters include “inside-the-mouth-and-throat” sounds that are developmental. The vowels are the letter sounds that change, in our language. You’ll catch those as your child grows.
You have more of this wide, wide world to share and lots of talking to do before you need to worry about your child learning “c/kuh” and “guh” and “juh”, or individual vowel sounds. Remember that your child is learning a whole word now, and the vowels are part of that whole-word learning. Each word comes as a package—-and if you outline it, by the way, each word has a shape that is also helpful to your child’s young eyes.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: Early Reading, family life, preschool
Grace Geller on May 13th, 2010
This week we return to our series on helping your child learn to read by our guest author Sharon Alm.
I hope you and your child have settled into the bedtime reading routine. Isn’t it fun to watch the excitement….the settling-in for a good story time? You will remember these reading times of closeness for a long time, even though the age and size of your child changes quickly. The books will change, as well.
About 15-20 minutes each evening is enough time to get your child relaxed and ready for sleeping. Perhaps a special blanket or “lovey” is comforting while listening to you read, too. Daddy or Grandma might be the reader after bedtime reading is part of your child’s routine. Great! Perhaps some nights must have a shortened reading time, for whatever reasons. That’s ok, tool
I hope you’ve found that “board books” are great for the grabbing, throwing, and carrying phases of your child’s growth. Cloth books are softer for hugging, and “gumming” or chewing. Books are very adaptable to your child’s growth phases.
As your child begins to learn the word “no” (or your choice of a restraining or objecting
word), trade the word-of-choice to “gentle or gently” with regard to books. Reading books should not be associated with “no.”
Caring for books is also something to be taught and regarded as important before getting to the paper-paged books. A special shelf, table, or basket for books will show your child that you respect books and that you are careful in putting them away after each reading time.
Remember, your modeling is important in all areas of presenting the world to your child. Whatever your choices for discipline, manners, expectations at home and away from home, be consistent. Use the same vocabulary words and actions modeled by you and taught to your child, each time. Remember, your child is secure with the same things happening in his/her life. This is the time to do the groundwork. Teaching flexibility with rules and routines will come later—after the routines are clearly established and are his/her normal life.
As your reading expands, share your local library with your child. What fun it is to see all the colorful books—-and be able to take them home for a few days! Library books should be regarded as special books. You might designate a higher shelf for those books (and any other fragile pop-up books or gift books) that adults can reach for the child. This simple location instills that these books need to be treated with tender loving care by adults and children.
Take your child to a story time at the library. This is another experience he/she will enjoy when it’s not bedtime! This new person with a new reading voice will be another great way to share books. It’s also a socialization experience that will be fun, too!
Your child’s world is full of exciting experiences, things to see, places to visit, new faces to meet……and that special warm and cozy home to return to every night.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, preschoolers, reading
Grace Geller on May 6th, 2010
It is hard to believe that yet another Mother’s Day is rolling around. Before beginning this post I took the time to reread last year’s posting on Mother’s Day (www.preschooltimes.net/mothers-day). Though I wouldn’t change a word of it, this year my focus is on the idea of happiness. Happiness is a really hard concept to tie down. It is an ever evolving entity. What made me happy at three years old is not what made me happy at fifteen years old. That is kind of easy to understand and accommodate.
Now let’s focus on our grown up dreams. The one’s we make up, as we enter adulthood and begin to formulate our “Happily Ever After Story.” You know the one: The one where you are going to marry a rich guy who will love only you and you will have two children a boy and a girl and your life will be filled with volunteering or a fulfilling job…. I really don’t need to go much further you can fill in the rest.
Of course growing up has clarified or derailed some of those dreams along the way. I am sure many of you have a very different life then the one you pictured. Some are happy with their life and some are not. It doesn’t necessarily follow that the person who got what they wished for is happy and the person who didn’t have their dreams fulfilled is not.
Personally, I know my life looks nothing like the one I thought I wanted. I have stuck with my mother’s advice to be happy with the choices I make; but some of life’s choices were out of my control. How am I supposed to be happy when something happens that is beyond my control?
As I have walked through this life I have known the heights of joy and the depths of sorrow; probably more than most of my readers. So how does one rally from the depths of sorrow back to happiness?
You can lead a happy life by keeping an open heart and allowing new happiness to flow through it. Look at Sandra Bullock. There is no way she would have planned her fairy tale life to include such pain. And of course she has every right to feel wounded and sad, but the cover of magazines reflecting her radiant face beaming love to her new son tell a different story. Sandra is happy. Maybe not all the time, but she has allowed happiness to flow through her heart. She has remained open, even though heartbreak provides many options to respond and behave otherwise.
No life is without its sorrow and disappointments. Most of us did not get the life we thought we were born to live. To me you have two choices in your life. Love the life you are given or change your life. If you are lucky enough to be alive then you owe to yourself to build a happy life. Stay open, good things are there to fill the sorrow.
So why all this philosophy for Mother’s Day… ? We owe it to our children to model a happy life. We lead by example.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, Mother's Day
Grace Geller on April 22nd, 2010
Each spring as the weather begins to return to its warm, sumptuous generosity, we are blessed with new growth and beauty. Inspired by the beauty of nature, we set out to try our hand at duplicating and creating some beauty of our own!
Across the school, classrooms are humming with activity. Each class is laden with an abundance of raw art materials waiting patiently to be turned into a masterpiece. Hands: drip with finger-paints, cake with clay, clench hammers, and pound wood, as each new creation begins to take form. There is no more colorful place than a classroom of preschoolers set free with their imaginations. After a year filled with experiences which demonstrated each medium’s varied capabilities, they are ready to strike out on their own. Some children are creating hats inspired by the Hat Parade, others are busily working on their own interpretation of the solar system (don’t ask what started that project!), while still others are painting the background of a bean bag toss game.
Classrooms are alive with language as the children describe what they are doing and problem solving when something doesn’t work out as intended. Some are frustrated with a negative turn of events while others embrace the mistake and incorporate it into their piece. Watching the children create gives me some insight into their self concept as well as their problem solving skills. Children who are confident will often continue with a project even when they face difficulty, while those who are still unsure of themselves will often abandon a project when adversity strikes and still others will just live with their mistakes. Teachers can help by demonstrating appropriate problem solving skills that they then can apply to their creations. The more problem solving skills the children are familiar with the greater their successes.
Creating our own piece of art is like creating our own life. We are all given materials to work with; some will create a safe and orderly life while others will create a more abstract experience. The more problem solving skills you have in your arsenal the better able you will be to deal with an adverse condition when it presents itself. It takes confidence to build a life you can be proud of.
So, as my little preschoolers prepare their works of art for display and their teachers help label their work, I will see more then the pretty colors and the precariously balanced building. I will see their lives unfolding.
Peace & Light,
Grace
"The Mona Lisa"
Technorati Tags: art, family life, preschool
Grace Geller on April 1st, 2010
Preschoolers are the smartest people I know. Don’t get me wrong; I have the opportunity to meet and speak to some of the most complex minds, but it is the youngest members of society who constantly remind me of true “smartness”. Preschoolers have the innate ability to discern that which is important from that which is not.
Many of you may have seen or heard about the social experiment conducted by the Washington Post. It focused on social priorities, perception and taste. A violinist played beautifully in an urban subway. The adult commuters barely paused a moment to hear the music, but the children were transfixed. They did not want to move. Every parent, without exception, forced their child to move on quickly. Even as they were forced to leave, the children continued to turn their heads in the direction of the music.
I quote from the study, “The violinist finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100. “
So who was the smart person in this story? Certainly, it was not the professionals, workers or parents who passed the musician without even acknowledging him. It was the littlest members of our society who slowed down to enjoy the beauty where they found it. No one had to tell them this is Joshua Bell the great violinist. They heard his music and understood this is a thing of beauty and it must be enjoyed here and now. No matter how they tried to point this out to their parents, no one listened.
As “grown-ups”, we tend to like our beautiful moments to arrive as scheduled. Of course we will pay for this privilege but it is also in paying that we find their value (He must be good; the tickets are $100.00 dollars). But it is our children who see the world in real time. If they see someone behaving ugly, they see it here and now and when they see something beautiful or interesting, they want to experience it now; not in some unseen future time. It is the children who understand the true value of a moment. It is the adults who, in their never ending desire to meet too many deadlines, squander beautiful moments in anticipation of a big payoff which may never come.
As an American I was taught by word and action to embrace the efficient, no nonsense approach to life. And this behavior model has served me well up a point. It is my time spent with preschoolers that has taught me to appreciate the gift of each day and to understand how fleeting a moment can be. So the next time you are tempted to push your preschooler along, pause and see just what it is that has caught their attention it might just be a wonderful gift; the gift of a moment.
Happy Holidays,
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, parenting, preschool
Grace Geller on March 11th, 2010
I hope you found the last few postings on Crime and Punishment – oh excuse me, I mean Discipline verses Punishment helpful for your daily life. I think the key points are to maintain a calm attitude and be consistent. Of course, when you apply the techniques consistently you should have a “picture perfect” family.
During my incessant news surfing, I happened upon a very funny posting in the N.Y. Times titled “Framing Childhood” by Virginia Heffernan.
Ms. Heffernan’s premise is that from a sociological point of view children are bred to furnish us with subjects for digital photographs. The moment a child comes into this world it is photographed and the image is e-mailed to friends and family. The first photo often takes place before the baby has even left for the nursery.
From that point forward every event is photographed, edited, and placed in a formatted composition for public viewing. Parents spend endless hours: cropping, removing red eyes, and changing the background composition of their child’s photos. They spend so much time on the computer there is little time left for interacting with their child.
Now understand that Ms. Heffernan’s blog is written for profit and her humorous depiction of modern life has a purpose. Its purpose is to imbed appropriate links to her paid sponsors. But her tongue in cheek humor does touch upon some truths. The life depicted in photos is nothing like our real lives. Our children do not sit quietly, dress sweetly or behave appropriately at all times. It is inviting to think that our lives could be like the ones in the pictures but alas, it is not.
Real life is messy. It is filled with spilled milk, pushy siblings, and threats to turn the car around. Oft times the only time it even comes close to resembling the idyllic life pictured in our photos is when our children are asleep! Real life cannot be cropped, edited, reformatted or gotten the red eye out of! The real danger lies in believing that it can.
Every year I meet the “picture perfect family” and those around them envy them. When you look under the surface you will find they have the similar issues to all of us. They yell when they should be calm, they rush their children when they shouldn’t over schedule, and they have issues in their marriages just like all of us. Every day we get up with the intention to be that picture perfect family and every day we fall a little short. Real life is not perfect it was never meant to be. The purpose of life is to learn and grow.
But for now I am going to load some pictures into my Iphoto. I need to edit some of my life and get the red out.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, photography
