I am happy and alarmed to report about an ongoing study which has been tracking over 1,300 children in group care since 1991. So far, the study’s findings found obedience and academic problems among those who received low-quality care during their first 4½ years of life and persisted through their 15th birthday. The quality care profile included: The caregivers’ warmth, sensitivity, emotional support and the amount of cognitive stimulation they provided. Children receiving higher-quality care displayed fewer behavioral problems than children receiving lower-quality care. The type of care, whether inside or outside the home did not seem to matter.
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Grace Geller on July 22nd, 2010
Three women of various ages and stages of life were entering the warm gulf waters when a tiny voice called out: “Can I come?” A resounding YES was their response. So adorned in her swim ring, the preschooler cautiously dipped her toe into the gulf advancing into the deeper water while holding her swim ring around her middle.
By now you might be a bit worried. We all know that swim rings are not life preservers. But worry not. The women quickly caught her in their arms and so began the little girl’s swimming class. From one set of arms to another she paddled her way. After she arrived in each of the women’s arms, she was rewarded with praise and a hug. She was safely nestled in loving arms as they bobbed together on the surf. After a little while, the second women called “Swim to me Lauren, it’s my turn.” Lauren turned to face the new set of arms and cheerfully paddled off. And so the afternoon progressed. Lauren paddled to and fro and relaxed in the surf, safe and snug in the arms of her care takers. Soon each member was identified. One woman was her mother; another, her aunt and yet another, an older sister or perhaps a young aunt. The day passed with little Lauren becoming more and more confident in her swimming skills and delighting in the peaceful gulf waters.
The next day at breakfast the women and several other family members gathered. I could hear them discussing the books they were reading and lunches at their various schools. Yes, of course, they were a family of teachers. There in this circle of women, little Lauren would learn not only how to swim but also how to teach; just as the adolescent sister/aunt was learning. Teaching was a gift passed down from one family member to another. It was a talent, a skill they honed, reinforced, refined and loved from early on.
Having observed many natural teachers in my career, I can easily envision the learning environments in the classrooms and the innate mannerism of these women as teachers. What a pleasure it would be to learn in their classrooms. They joyfully reinforced the child’s attempts at independence while allowing her to move at her own pace. When they saw that she was comfortable they encouraged her to move another step forward. Their delicate encouragement was as quiet and soft as the gentle gulf waters. There were no bells and whistles; no showering the child with accolades, just a circle of women welcoming this child forward.
So three soft cheer’s to the natural teacher residing in all of us; we just have to remember to gently welcome it forward.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: learning, swimming, teacher
Grace Geller on July 8th, 2010
My husband and I sat under the shade of our beach umbrella enjoying the quiet sounds of the surf. The man adjacent to us was quietly moving through his asana and meditation. As the world began to wake up, families claimed their areas of the beach. Slightly in front of us a young family put down their blanket and arranged their gear. The mother and her new infant daughter cooed contently to each other.
The dad organized the blanket and then tended to their son. He gently, yet thoroughly, applied sunscreen; adjusted his young son’s sunglasses and then stood back. The young fellow (around three years old) sprinted toward the shoreline. The father continued setting out needed items, while keeping a close eye on his son.
An older lady walking along the shore became concerned about the young boy seemingly by himself. She began to approach the boy, and the father signaled that he was being watched. The older lady waved and walked away. The dad continued to watch the boy as he cautiously approached the water. The young lad was not a daredevil. After allowing his son a little more freedom, the father went to the shore and encouraged his son into the surf. The father placed himself about three feet off shore and turned to watch his son as the boy raced the waves back and forth to the shore.
This man understood the importance of giving his son the appropriate freedom to test out his abilities, while under the watchful eye of someone who loved him. Notice, I said appropriate. He did not sit on the blanket and ignore his son; he watched the entire time and only interceded when he became alert to a possible danger or in the event his child needed more help. In this case the boy was not moving ahead with his play. He was stuck in his own fears. In order to move to the next level of play he needed his father closer. Sensing this his father approached the water allowing the boy to fully engage in his water play.
The father went back to the blanket to check on his wife and their infant. He sat down and suggested she go play with their son in the surf, which she happily agreed to. The newborn had drifted off to sleep and her father took out his video camera and filmed her as she slept.
As the sun grew higher in the sky the infant began to fuss. The mother tried to comfort her, but when it became obvious the baby was uncomfortable they gathered their things and left the beach.
Often I find myself telling you there are no perfect families or marriages but I want to remind you there are idyllic family moments. Those times when we are guided by our love for each other, when we put way our own selfish wants and needs to care and nurture each other. On that day, at that point of time that family got it! Together, they were the perfect balance of nurture and strength.
I don’t know who these people are but I predict a beautiful future for all of them.
Peace and Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, family values, Fathers
Grace Geller on July 1st, 2010
Every day I open the newspaper and read the leading news stories as well as the editorials. I turn on the television news and I see the networks version of what is important. It is a very complicated world out there and I ponder; how can we prepare children to be safe while at the same time care about their neighbors?
Before our children can understand and care about others, they must trust that their needs are being consistently met. Children are self centered and need driven. If you have any doubts; just watch or speak to a toddler at play. I guarantee you will hear the word “mine” more than once during their play. The more consistently we meet their needs (emotional, physical and spiritual) the less energy they will direct towards getting their needs met. The result: More energy that can be directed elsewhere.
Consider the difference between meeting your child’s needs and meeting your child’s wants. If you meet their needs you can’t do any harm, if you meet your child’s wants…that’s where you can get into trouble. It is important for children to know who they are, is not defined by what they have. No matter how many things you buy your child, or how much you entertain your child, it will never be enough. They will always want more. Wants are insatiable. The more they get, the more they want, the more they want, the more they get. The circle goes round and round never to satisfy for long.
So where does lasting satisfaction come from? Lasting satisfaction comes from caring for others. Most of us feel better about ourselves when we reach out and helped another through an act kindness, charity work, neighborly interactions, and volunteering. How do we begin to teach our children to care for the community in which they live?
We have to be good role models. When we express empathy toward others, children will first feel and then see what it looks like. What are your acts of kindness? Have you talked them through? Talk about how to treat other people then model the way you would like them to treat others. The same sensitive little children that know when we are harried, short tempered, or sugary sweet also sense when we are genuinely kind in the check-out line or at the gas station. They begin to watch and then mirror our acts of kindness and respect for the other people we interact with.
Every year many of us make donations to various causes that we believe in. Take the time to explain your child what you are doing and why. Teach children to understand that contributing (in which ever manner you choose) directly relates to their well being and humanity’s well being. By including them in the process they will begin to learn and incorporate this value as one of your core family’s values and ultimately go one step further in the world.
Include your child in finding ways to help others. Acting on empathy is different than just feeling for others. Empathy is a muscle, you need to flex it!
Support your child’s efforts to make things better. If they are worried about the sea turtles maybe they could help raise funds for their protection or volunteer at a rehab center. The opportunities for caring are endless. Start small but think big. Once they see that they can make a difference their empathy muscle will grow and become strong. A child with a strong empathy muscle can move mountains!
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: core values, family values, preschooler
Grace Geller on June 24th, 2010
Today I celebrate my one hundredth week of posts. So what is so special about 100 that we choose to use it as a yardstick for judgment? Well, it is a nice round number. But why do we use the number 100 to judge: presidents, wars and businesses. Americans latched on to the significance of the number 100 most notably during the presidency of Franklin D. Roosevelt. Roosevelt’s term began during a financial crisis and he used the first 100 days of his presidency to implement bold changes. Since that time, 100 days has been embraced as an adequate time frame before rendering a judgment on an idea or concept.
So keeping true to my yogini ways I would like to take this opportunity to reflect a little on the path we have walked, and the direction for the future. I have consistently attempted to adhere to a weekly schedule of thinking about, writing, editing and finally posting my thoughts for this blog. I select topics that are reflective of the issues we humans face as we make our way through the very complicated task of raising the next generation. Sometimes the topics I present are a direct result of “If I knew then what I know now.” Sometimes they are the result of what I wish I knew and sometimes they are the result of direct observation of parents deeply entrenched raising their children.
Though I love writing the posts, some have proven easier to write then others. I know when I write directly from my heart, the post usually finds a place in your heart, which reinforces my premise that we are all the same. I have worked with families from all over the world and many different cultures. On the whole, I have found that we all strived to be the best we can possibly be. We all have times that we have failed miserably and hurt the very ones we wished to protect. Sometimes we harm through ignorance or neglect, sometimes it is a character flaw within ourselves, but no matter how hard we try perfection is unattainable.
No one raises the perfect child and no family is without its wounds and scars. Here is what I do know: Every day you must get out of bed and state your intention to do the best you can to face the obstacles that will arise throughout the day. Everyday you must arm yourself with patience, knowledge, dedication and a good sense of humor; so you will be able to meet the challenges ahead. Most days you will fall short of your intentions. And that is OK. You see it is not whether or not you get everything right, it is whether or not you put your best effort forward. Each day we learn a little more and we add a little more love, compassion and understanding to our stock pile of ammunition. Each day we try a little bit harder to do a little bit better. That is our work and it never ends. Welcome to the human race.
On Monday I will start on my 101st post.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: 100, Families Today
Grace Geller on June 17th, 2010
Summer is upon us! With a little extra time and an uncluttered calendar, imagine the possibilities…. Summertime is the perfect time to start something new; but what? How do you stop yourself, or your child, from falling into the doldrums and doing the same old thing?
As parents and teachers, we want our children to be “creative.” But what is creativity? And how do we encourage it in ourselves and others? Before we discuss creativity and enhancing creativity, let’s back up and examine a few creativity inhibitors.
In our never-ending effort to help create the well balanced child, we sometimes interfere with that balance. Some of our inhibiting behaviors include:
Hovering: Constantly watching children while they are working interferes with risk taking behavior. (We are not talking about safety issues.) We are talking about using a medium in a different way or combining items that are not usually combined.
Approval Seeking Behavior: Sometimes our children will do, or make something, in an effort to please us. They do not make it or do it to please themselves. When we seek approval from others we ignore the satisfaction that comes with our own accomplishments. Allow your child to check his/her motives. Let them tell you why they created what they did….
Rewards: Excessively rewarding children with prizes and gifts deprives them of the pleasure of creating something for its own value. The goal then becomes receiving the prize rather then creating something new. Create for the sake of creating.
Competition: Sometimes when we place children in the position that only one or two children can win, we create an environment that winning becomes the important result. Innovation can lose to the sure thing.
Controlling: Constantly telling children what to do and how to do it can inhibit a child’s ability to develop problem solving skills. Without problem solving skills it becomes increasingly difficult to think of and test new ideas.
Over Scheduling: Directing your child’s activities or enrichment classes is an important part of exposing children to the many options available to them, but over scheduling limits your child’s time and interests to the allotted time and information. Children need time to explore and follow their passions. Sometime after the 20th “I’m bored” comes discovery. It takes awhile for our over scheduled children to learn how to fill their own time with things that are important to them.
Pressure: Last but not least, pressure. We need to scale our expectations for our child’s performance. When our expectations are too high our children may refrain from trying something new or not taking any risks, for fear of failure. As parents and teachers we must remove our ego from the equation!
The beginning of this post referred to creativity in our children and ourselves. We too, are victims of inhibitory behaviors. More often than not, we place those inhibitors on ourselves. The more aware of the inhibitors that we are, the better we can deal with them.
So now that we have a handle on the inhibitors, what is next?
We need to get unstuck! First we must set a goal. One that is specific, attainable and realistic.
We are helping our children and ourselves learn to create! To relax, to go with a new flow, express ourselves, paint, make music, build things, try new foods, sing, look at the world upside down aaaaahhhh Create………
Next we must get up and move. That is right. We need to get the creative juices moving. So shake and shimmy until you work up a sweat.
Finally allow time – to dream, imagine the possibilities, visualize, hum, sniff, giggle. What would it be like if…
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: creativity, Early Childhood Education, Early Learning, family life
Grace Geller on June 9th, 2010
Well the dust has settled, camp is up and running and I finally have time to reflect on the wonderful year we spent together. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my days reassuring families that their two- year-old would: Stop crying or biting or hitting…and then all of a sudden those same two year olds are singing in five languages, able to read, tie their shoes and are graduating from Pre-K! What happened to the time in between?
All those days linking the beginning to the end was the middle work… all the hard work:
Early to bed
Arriving on time
Allowing your child to take responsibility for him / her selves
Doing the right thing
Successful endings are preceded by hard work. The hard work of the Two year old teachers helped prepare the children for the Three year old program; and the hard work of the Four year old teachers, prepared the children for Pre-K. The hard work of the parents prepared the children to grow and be ready to receive direction.
When I look at our competent Pre-Kindergarteners performing at graduation I see them with the knowledge that everyone plays a small part in the development of a child. It is the sum of all these small parts that leads to a competent, confident child. The more people who positively participate in the development of a child, the closer that child can come to reaching his / her full potential.
That is why I cringe when I hear the term “day care.” We do not take care of days! We care for children. We care about who they will become. We take pride in helping to shape the future. What we do here in the Early Childhood setting is very different from elementary school setting. Here we have the luxury of time to know the whole child and their families. We create a plan to help children eradicate undesirable behaviors, overcome deficits and gain competencies in life and academics.
Here we become part of a child’s family and they become part of ours. Children share stories, tokens from their family vacations and foods and customs from their home countries. We trade recipes and advice. Teachers relay funny anecdotes or concerns for the children in their charge. They share these with directors, teachers and their families. And tiny parts of your child’s life merge with ours and we begin to form a community.
During graduation, it is with great pride that I look out over the audience and see the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, best friends as well as the Two year old, Three year old, Four year old teachers and their families. Everyone is in attendance watching the children as they prepare for the transition from preschooler to grade school student. This is the message we tried to teach and hope will serve them well in the future.
A message to the children;
10 suggestions for a healthy future:
- Listen to your heart; it will help you know the truth when you hear it.
- Plant your dreams on solid ground.
- Start something new.
- Be bold, smart and fair.
- Do the right thing.
- Try something different.
- Hold on to who you are.
- Keep your body and mind healthy.
- Know what matters most.
- When you fall down, pick yourself up and move on.
And as the hall empties and the stage lights dim, I am a little sad to see them go but then I remember….tomorrow a new group of two year olds start. God, I love this job!
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: family life, graduation, preschool, preschool teachers
Grace Geller on June 3rd, 2010
The final part in our series by our guest author Sharon Alm
Let’s talk about the part television and computers are playing in your young child’s life. Both can be wonderful resources! Both can also be mindless noise-boxes. Hopefully, you are guiding the Technology Department in your household.
Ideally, you will coordinate the language and vocabulary with what you present via technology. The best part is that you, the parent, can and should always be with your child when either TV or the computer is “in charge” of your child’s attention. Delayed recordings of children’s shows provide you with the ability to show selected parts of a show that your child would especially enjoy. Attention spans are short, and viewing should be, as well. There’s always another day and another time. More is not better.
Sesame Street has been a favorite for many years. The big, purple Barney seems to be especially loved by pre-toddlers, simply for its simple songs and rhymes and colorful
activities. You’ll have to decide what is best in your home for your child.
Books you read with your child can guide your selection of television or computer experiences. A book about the ocean might suggest a technology experience to share a specific “critter” or to expand something else in the book. The same might apply to an Arthur book, followed by and Arthur cartoon story.
Computer software can also provide continuation of book subjects. I taught at a private school in Florida where three-year-olds were quite adept at inserting the disc needed for their pre-reading software. Technology is everywhere…..please, use it wisely.
Continue talking, talking, talking (and singing) to your child in every situation. Don’t forget to stick in those rhyming words as you go through your day (bread /head; sock /rock; chair /hair; cup /pup; bug /rug). Things will be “connecting” inside of your little one‘s brain, and you will begin to see the results of your consistency.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: Early Childhood Education, Early Reading, preschool, reading
Grace Geller on May 27th, 2010
Continuing with our series by our guest author Sharon Alm
Over the years of opening the world to your child, there will be so many things that you can do to connect the books you read, to your child’s reality:
I’ve mentioned the plastic magnetic letters for the refrigerator. One of the most important first words on the refrigerator should be your child’s name!
Using the letter M as my example, you can conveniently think of lots of words, beginning with that sound, as you go through your day. Emphasizing the letter sound, as you say and shape the words, connects them in your child’s brain.
Find that visible letter as you shop or ride in the car: Mommy, morning, and M at the local McDonald’s, of course. Use capital letters, including words that you create on the refrigerator.
Write your chosen letter for your child in soapsuds at bath time in the tub; make it from PlayDoh as he/she grows into that activity. Create a collage of a few pictures from magazines that show M things in your child’s world. Post it where your child will see it to point out M pictures during a diaper change, for instance. (Don’t let your child see you cutting up a magazine for this, however. Save that for later, when you can teach scissor-cutting and the chosen old magazine to help with the posters.) Remember those lessons on respect for printed materials.
If your book is about a farm, you can visit a local petting zoo, when your child is old enough to handle the experience. Repeat this type of activity by visiting: an annual fair, the beach etc. Each experience connects something new in that little brain.
Find incidental ways to remember things from books your child has read over the years. These don’t have to be “dog and pony show activities.” Just a quiet walk in the park can recall trees or fences or fountains seen in a story. Little things mean a lot when they are discovered in the average day.
As you read the same books over and over, you’ll remember certain parts to recall at the opportune time for silly moments, too! Dr. Seuss often creates those times with “I do not like them (or that), Sam I am.” This can be a silly reminder of a funny story, and can also correct some behavior that is unfavorable to you at the time.
I would also like to recommend two books for you to read. Both cover the subject of reading aloud to your child, but are written in delightfully different ways. Each book contains lists of suggested books for various ages. The books also make great gifts for new parents!
Reading Magic: Why Reading Aloud to Our Children Will Change Their Lives
Forever by Mem Fox
Mem Fox is also the author of several wonderful children’s books!
Read to Me: Raising Kids Who Love to Read by Bernice e. Cullinan
I hope you will delight in watching your child grow and blossom with the reading aloud of wonderful books. Making your child a book lover will be one of your greatest achievements as a parent. Reading aloud bonds parents and children in so many ways. Don’t assume that your independent reader won’t want read-aloud time with you. Chapter books provide wonderful opportunities for some great reading—only without as many pictures to explore. Your child will be older, and chapter books can provide age-appropriate life lessons, too.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: Early Childhood Education, Early Learning, Early Reading, family life
Grace Geller on May 20th, 2010
Continuing with our series by our guest author Sharon Alm
Your reading aloud continues as you watch your child grow by leaps and bounds! He/She is reacting to and responding to your familiar words during routines, your rhyming fun, and the naming of the items in each book’s pictures.
It’s time to share another step along our journey to reading. This concerns the realization of the strange looking “marks” on some of the pages in your books. These marks are the keys that open and share each book’s story. Your child needs to know that reading is talk, written on the page. Each book is telling you something to share with your child….not just words. This is the guiding step to reading comprehension. Understanding and remembering what the words tell us is the meaning of reading. It’s why we read.
It starts with naming the words and emphasizing the beginning sounds. As you do this, make sure that your child looks at your mouth, when you isolate a word for him/her to learn. Seeing your mouth change shape makes him/her aware of how words begin.
Hearing and watching you make the correct shape of each beginning sound teaches the correct way to say it. Lips together for the “mmmmmm” sounds when something tastes good, or lips together then apart for the “bye-bye” words visually teach the M and the B consonants. Imitations will soon follow, and you are on your way to teaching your child the letter sounds heard in our language.
Relating the sound and the written symbol for a word is a definition of Phonics. Phonics is one way to actually teach reading. But my belief is that relying on learning words by letter sounds alone will make your child a word-reader. He/She will miss the message of the story if focusing on individual letter sounds of each word. Most children learn to read by recognizing a whole word by sight, not individual sounds.
I also, strongly believe that every child must know the sound / symbol relationship. The real study of Phonics is best left to classroom teachers. Our written language is very complicated, with many pronunciations, blends, digraphs, base words and endings, etc. Teachers are trained to present our confusing written language in an orderly manner.
Your child should know the alphabet letters and sounds by kindergarten time. It’s an important part of teaching reading. To help you as you begin to tackle this part of reading, have one or two sets of magnetic alphabet letters for the refrigerator. Perhaps Grandma has a set or two left from your younger days! They are wonderful! Keep them in a container (aside) so that you can isolate the one or two letters that are used most often, at the beginning, for a teaching time period until the imitating begins and the connection is made.
Begin your consonant challenge with “Buh,” “Fuh,” “Muh”, “Puh”, “Vuh,” and “Wuh.” These have the most obvious mouth movements youngsters can handle. The other letters include “inside-the-mouth-and-throat” sounds that are developmental. The vowels are the letter sounds that change, in our language. You’ll catch those as your child grows.
You have more of this wide, wide world to share and lots of talking to do before you need to worry about your child learning “c/kuh” and “guh” and “juh”, or individual vowel sounds. Remember that your child is learning a whole word now, and the vowels are part of that whole-word learning. Each word comes as a package—-and if you outline it, by the way, each word has a shape that is also helpful to your child’s young eyes.
Peace & Light,
Grace
Technorati Tags: Early Reading, family life, preschool
